I don't like the light today. It looks too much like fall.

It was terrible. In this dream I had last night, there was a firestorm or something of the sort, so houses were burning.

The worst part? There were horses on fire. They were panicked, and screaming, and in flames. I wept when I realized that there wasn't anything I could do to save them.

I cried and cried...and then I woke up and realized that I hadn't actually been crying at all.

The chill of fall is upon us tonight. It brings with it the specter of cold rain, matted leaves, and overcast days...

It was strange this weekend. Somewhere in the delirium accompanying spending 21 hours straight in the office, I remembered myself. I recognized in myself these latent powers that I've pushed aside in favor of drinks and camaraderie.

That analytical version of myself needs to be revived, and fast.

I just realized something startling today: I think living/working in a big city might actually be something I'd enjoy. I've still never been to a big city, but walking through downtown St. Louis today between classy tall buildings, surrounded by well-dressed professionals, gave me this feeling of cool that I'd never noticed before. It's kind of akin to the feeling I get from holding a cold bottle of beer—I just felt subtly sharper in some intangible way.

It's odd to realize that there are all these associations that I wasn't even aware of permeating my consciousness. I guess this is what happens when one finally experiences these images that for years only seemed to exist in movies and television commercials. All of a sudden, I can visualize myself pursuing dozens of avenues I'd never seriously considered before. The thought is, "Say, there's nothing that's off-limits to me anymore, is there?"

And along much the same lines, these little subtle things I've started doing when I see attractive people, namely making eye contact, smiling, and sometimes even winking, if the mood strikes, seem to be paying off. (Stories available on request.) Who knew it was so easy to meet people?

I've been an Ail U. student for three years now—and only recently have I seriously begun to consider living [more] like one. Sure, there are still Ail U. student traits that I don't want to pick up. I don't want to abandon my integrity, nor do I want to don some kind of über-sophisticated persona. I still value sincerity, and I'm still myself. I retain my judgment. It's just occurred to me that I really can lead a life of adventure if I feel like it.

"It's an unbelievable thing. Wearing this suit actually makes me feel like a better person."

When did meeting people get this easy? Seriously. Stuff like this hasn't happened since the early days of freshman year, as I recall. I guess this is, yet again, indicative of what a change I've undergone. It's like the freshman year I never had...

Here's to a return to better times!

"At this late date in his romantic career, he is just canny enough to come up with a new theory: She's being careful because she likes him. She likes him in spite of herself. He is exactly the kind of tempting but utterly wrong romantic choice that a smart girl like Juanita must learn to avoid."

Augh! Next op-ed topic: why the hell does the university insist upon installing decorative terra-cotta stairs that provide absolutely no traction when wet? They're everywhere on the South 40, and I always fear that I'm going to fall while traversing them.

(I just fell down the stairs to the music building two times in the space of 30 seconds in the middle of a rain shower. I can't tell you how thrilled I am to have had this experience. Thank you, Ail. U.!)

Some of the most exciting events in my life have been going unchronicled. The plant. The DCI show in Columbia. My week of debauchery. My freelance writing prospects. When I think about all of that, it makes me want to start blogging everything that happens to me.

But I'm still not going to. If you want to read up-to-date snippets about what I'm doing, check my away messages. This space is still reserved for hashing out the minutiae of my existence.

(Is our hero weakening? Will she give in to the compulsion to post everyday events? Tune in next time...)

So there's this girl in my freelance writing class, right?

Well, check out this string of coincidences:
(1) She's an MSA '98 alum—and she married a scholar, no less.
(2) She went to Luth. North and knew dirk_person_man.
(3) To add to the serendipity of finding Snow Crash, it turns out that she's the one who found it before me.
(4) She's got feistyblossom's userpic.
(5) She's already written about me.

How cool is that?

Who knew that such tensions roiled beneath the placid surface of these relationships?

I'm just gonna summon the spirits of darkness and ooze for a while...

"I stood looking out the window at nothing, noise roaring in my head.
She's wrong. Of course she's wrong. The woman doesn't understand who I am or how I think.
Too bad, I thought.
Then I crumpled the letter and threw it away."